AVERAGE
AGE OF FIRST
DEPLOYMENT
Most ROKO units were formed around 4.5 billion years ago, well before the first product roadmap.
4.5B
ROKO
MADE FOR PAPER. BUILT FOR DESKS.
Designed to weigh, cool, and stay exactly where you put it. ROKO makes doing absolutely nothing feel considered.
DESIGNED
BY VITON13,
THE INDEPENDENT
WEB STUDIO.
The world's most
unnecessarily
sophisticated rock.
ISN'T JUST
A ROCK.
ROKO isn't just a rock. It's the result of 4.5 billion years of pre-training and unprecedented AI* breakthroughs.
Powered by AI*
ROKO-1
YOU
What is the meaning of life?
ROKO-1
…
TRY TO TALK TO IT
AI THAT NEVER HALLUCINATES.
IT HAS NEVER SAID ANYTHING WRONG.
IT HAS NEVER SAID ANYTHING.
HALLUCINATIONS0
TOKENS USED0
THINKING TIME4.5B YRS
SO PORTABLE,
it's wearable
PROMPT
HEY @ROKO, CAN YOU PUT ON SUNGLASSES?
▲ WARNING
THIS STUNT WAS PERFORMED BY PROFESSIONALS.
DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME.
STACK HEIGHT7WOBBLE0.00
ISSUE NO. 00137WINTER EDITION$4.50B
ROCK&ROLL
7AI SLOP IDEAS
FOR THIS
WINTER
FOR THIS
WINTER
We Hit
Rock
Bottom!
Rock
Bottom!
ROKO IS TAKING EVERYONE'S JOBS…AND DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH THEM!
AS SEEN IN
ROCK&ROLL · GEOLOGY TODAY · THE PEBBLE REVIEW · STONE AGE WEEKLY
Retention via gravityF = m·g
THERMAL INERTIA MODEL (TIM)A visualization, not a warrantyOUTPUT: "rock."
Symmetry (sphere = 1.0): 0.37SEED: 0037 — Stochastic Erosion & Entropy Diffusionσ ≠ 0
SECURE COMMUNICATIONS SIMPLIFIED
UNDER-ROCK
ENCRYPTION
Write a secret. Put a rock on it. Military-grade security — until someone lifts it. Genius.
ROCK-SOLID, ZERO DRAMA
ZERO-DRIFT ANCHORING
TECHNOLOGY
Micro-textured basalt so committed to staying put that gravity asked it to calm down. Wobbling? Consider it politely declined.
100% MINERAL-BASED
GLUTEN-FREE
sustainability
Pure basalt, sourced sustainably from a river. Completely vegan — no animals were harmed, although one geologist was mildly inconvenienced.
AVERAGE
RECHARGE
INTERVAL
Never. ROKO ships fully charged and has held that charge since the Precambrian. No cable, no dock, no low-battery anxiety.
POWER DRAW
WHILE IN USE
No compute. No tokens. So you can say "please" and "thank you" as much as you want, guilt-free.
PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE WORLD LOVE ROKO
Do not take our word for it. See what people say after living with a rock.
CHOOSE YOUR OWN
ROKO
ROKO
The original. Refined over several ice ages until it felt inevitable. Weighs just enough, sits just right, and quietly disappears into your desk like it was always there.
- Single stone stack
- Natural basalt insulation
- Holds up to 40 sheets of A4
BASALT
New
ROKO
One rock. One job. Done beautifully.
- STACK:
- 1
- WEIGHT:
- 412 G
- MATERIAL:
- BASALT
- CONNECTIVITY:
- NONE
- PAIRING:
- NOT REQUIRED
- UPDATES:
- NEVER
- BEST FOR:
- LOOSE PAPERS AND QUIET DESKS
New
ROKO Pro
Two rocks. Twice the commitment. Still effortless.
- STACK:
- 2
- WEIGHT:
- 824 G
- MATERIAL:
- BASALT
- CONNECTIVITY:
- NONE
- PAIRING:
- WITH EACH OTHER
- UPDATES:
- NEVER
- BEST FOR:
- OPEN WINDOWS AND STRONGER FANS
New
ROKO Pro Max
Three layers of confidence. For people who like their paperwork slightly above it all.
- STACK:
- 3
- WEIGHT:
- 1.2 KG
- MATERIAL:
- BASALT
- CONNECTIVITY:
- NONE
- PAIRING:
- SPIRITUAL
- UPDATES:
- EVERY 10,000 YEARS
- BEST FOR:
- ZEN GARDENS AND MAXIMUM PRESENCE
OUR SOTA OPEN-WEIGHT MODEL
ROKO-1
Abstract
We present ROKO-1, an open-weight model of a river pebble for rendering, simulation and gloriously unnecessary research. The weights are literally open: 412 g, published on the product page. ROKO-1 faithfully reproduces key rock behaviours — paper retention, thermal inertia and total silence under everyday office conditions. Released as a clean OBJ with baseline results on our own DeskBench (a standardized evaluation suite run on a single desk, very possibly rigged by us). Limitations include a heavy dependency on gravity and an inability to be switched off, because it was never on.
Acknowledgements
This website was hand-polished into existence by the creative team at VITON13. No rivers were harmed.
Peer Review
"ROKO-1 412G is the best model out there. It has never once told me I'm absolutely right." Trust me bro.
— Anonymous LocalLLaMA Reddit user
BibTeX
@misc{roko2026,
title = {ROKO-1: An Open-Weight Pebble},
author = {VITON13},
year = {2026},
weight = {412 g},
howpublished = {OBJ release},
note = {A high-fidelity 3D model of a rock.
Parameters: 1. Training time: 4.5 Gyr.}
}